I know that right now, you are a giant ball of insecurity, sadly that’s not going to change much but it does get better – you get uncapped wifi.
In all your diary entries and musings, you have discovered that even though you might feel as if your appearance does not measure up to the other girls around you, or you might not be as smart or popular, the one thing you do embrace is your fast thinking and sense of humour. But sometimes you tend to use your powers for evil rather than good, putting down those around you in order to make you feel better about yourself.
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This does not make you special, or super villainy in the slightest, women have been doing this for centuries, but that does not make it okay either. I know you feel as if you are playing to your strengths but denigrating and breaking down other girls is not your strength. Words are your strength. The mouth that can so quickly come up with an insult or snap judgement, can also encourage and support others, I promise you will feel so much better after you have made someone feel better about themselves than you ever did saying mean things about them.
Other girls are not your enemy, over the years, you will come to regret the amount of bridges you burnt, how many ugly things you said about girls you barely knew just because you felt threatened by them. For some relationships it would be too late to ever mend what you had broken and you will feel it whenever you see them and they pass by you without a second glance, others still that you called a ‘bitch’ or a ‘slut’ or whatever other colourful phrases you create would end up being some of your closest friends and you will constantly pray that they don’t find out about the things you used to say about them.
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No boy, no social status, is ever worth treating other people like crap in order to get there. Those people that laughed at your comments will turn around and talk about you and help to build your reputation as a mean girl, which you will constantly which you could overturn.
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Women are the greatest asset in your life. Your female friends are the ones that stand by you, the ones that help you become the woman you always dreamt of becoming, learn to start appreciating them. And I know sometimes it’s difficult, if he constantly likes someone else and you feel like you’re the never the one, but being mean to them won’t change that, what should change is your taste in boys. You are amazing, you should never feel the need to pine for someone who doesn’t see that.
Also, re-watch Mean Girls, it’s still the best.